


How to Stop Loving Someone

by alittlegreenrosetta



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Separations, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:11:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6339979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlegreenrosetta/pseuds/alittlegreenrosetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Joker has kicked Harley out for longer than usual and in her sorrow she tries to find some way to love her Puddin' less. But how do you stop loving someone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Stop Loving Someone

 

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since she could breathe without it hurting. Two weeks since she could swallow her food without a lump in her throat and a tight nauseous feeling gripping her stomach. Two weeks since she wasn’t always crying or on the verge of tears. It had been two weeks since she last heard from him, since he kicked her out of his life and left her without a place in the world. It wasn’t the first time he had kicked her out, that happened sometimes. Maybe she stole the punchline to a joke or talked back when he told her what to do. Things she knew she shouldn’t do but just couldn’t help herself from doing occasionally. It was like a part of her wanted to make him angry but not so he would kick her out. Maybe that part of her just wanted his attention even if it was usually painful. Pain didn’t bother her, women are made of pain, she could take any amount of it. It was his neglect she couldn’t stand. Feeling like she didn’t exist in his mind, like even when he looked right at her he couldn’t see her there. If she didn’t exist for him she didn’t really see the point of existing at all. So she did her best not to which at this point consisted mostly of lying in bed crying or lying in bed and trying to stop the pain by just stopping altogether.

Red had been taking care of her more or less. Mostly just letting her take up space in her guest room while Harley tried to figure out the quantum equation it would take to blink out of existence. Her best friend brought her food and water, patted her back occasionally and when Harley was in a particularly pathetic state, scolded her and tried to get her angry enough to fight back against the sea of pain she was drowning in. It all kept Harley going in some way or another but it didn’t ease her suffering at all. She knew what would have, of course; just one word from him. A text, a phone call, or in her few moments of optimism she imagined him showing up at Poison Ivy’s hideout and taking her home himself. None of it happened so she laid there on the bed, aching and suffering in her state of perpetual neglect. Today had been a particularly bad day, she had run out of tears already for the day and the lump in her throat was so tight and so intent on choking her that she couldn’t get even the smallest sip of water down. People had always told her the Joker would kill her someday, this wasn’t what any of them had meant she was certain but she knew in her heart this was the only way he could do it. No matter what anyone else thought, her Puddin’ loved her too much to actually kill her by violence but taking his love away was exactly how he would choose to end her life because the Joker always knew just the right thing to do, just the right joke to tell and this was the big punchline for her life.

“Harley, you haven’t eaten anything today and I think you’ve barely had any water. If you don’t start dealing with this and taking care of yourself I’m going to have to take some real action. I don’t know what exactly but I can’t just watch you lie there and die from a broken heart, especially not over the Joker of all people.” Ivy said to her from the doorway to the room, her voice was calm and sincere, making it clear that she was done with scolding and she wasn’t going tolerate any more of this.

“I’m sorry, Red. If there was something I thought I could do about it I would. I feel like I’m drowning and well, my heart is broken. It’s not my fault it’s going to kill me.” Harley said weakly. She thought drowning might actually be an okay way to go by villain standards. She knew there were much worse ways to leave this world, she’d helped prove that many, many times.

“Look, I’ve tried to be patient but it’s been two weeks. Things are over between you guys and you are too strong to let that kill you. You need to start getting over the Joker now or I’m going to have to do something to force the issue.” With that Ivy left her alone.

Force the issue? If Red were just a normal woman that would be some empty threat of an intervention with her friends and family or maybe at worst kicking her out of her place but they were villains. Force the issue probably meant something very different and much less nice. Ivy was a master at using her plants to create ways to attract people to her and get them to fall in love with her. If that was so easy for her then she could probably come up with some way to get Harley to fall out of love with the Joker. The only thing that sounded worse than living without the Joker’s love was the idea of living without her love for the Joker. She needed to take some action herself before Ivy made the choice for her. But what could she do?

She knew better than to go and throw herself at the Joker’s feet. He had to be the one who told her to come home or things would go very badly for her, she’d learned that a long time ago. She could leave Red’s house and find somewhere else to wallow in her misery but Red was her best friend and really cared for her, she’d just track her down and do whatever she was planning to “help” Harley. No, she had to do something about this herself. She didn’t want to stop loving the Joker but maybe she could just love him a little bit less? Maybe she could find some way to get enough control of her love for him that she could function again and then Red would stop worrying about her and Harley could wait out the remainder of their separation without so much pain. The Joker had always wanted her back eventually. Sure this was their longest time apart but there was still this part of her heart that was sure he would take her back soon. And fuck that part because it was responsible for this state of constant suffering. If she could just give up on her Puddin’ she could just let herself die in one last amazing act of villainy and if that part of her was a little bigger she could delude herself into thinking everything really would be alright and she could go about her life while she waited for their reconciliation. But no, her heart was mostly black with despair except for this one last flickering bit of hope and it hurt her with every beat that pumped blood through her body.

Red was right, she really did need to do something about this. She turned on her phone, planning to ignore that lack of calls or messages from Mr. J but of course immediately focusing her eyes on that part of the screen. A sharp jab of disappointment hit her gut which annoyed her, the phone had been right next to her every minute of every day, she knew there were no messages without looking but it still hurt. She opened her internet browser and typed in “How to stop loving someone so much” and then clicked the first link that came up. It was a list of four steps to stop loving an unrequited love. Her love wasn’t unrequited no matter what anyone else thought. She almost hit the back button but then paused and thought again. Maybe her love wasn’t unrequited in general but for the last two weeks it sure wasn’t requited. It wasn’t even sort of tolerated as so often was the case in her relationship with the Joker. Maybe this list would help her get through her time without the Joker. She wouldn’t mind a return to doing things like sleeping, eating and breathing without pain. She looked at the list.

Step one: Reduce Contact. If you can manage it cut off all contact with the person. Well this list was much easier than she expected already. Mr. J had already done the job for her, he kicked her out of his hideout and out of his life. At the same time though she couldn’t really get the Joker out of her life or out of her mind. Sure, she could avoid the news and if she stayed locked up in Red’s house she was unlikely to encounter whatever his next attempt to kill the Batman or cause chaos in Gotham involved but there were some things that would always remind her of him that she couldn’t avoid. Even her name made her think of Mr. J. She’d never have become Harley Quinn without him and now she could never be Harleen Quinzel again. Unlike with the toy, in her mind there was no way to shove the clown back into the Jack-in-the-box. It just bounced and bobbed to a sickly version of “Pop Goes the Weasel”, refusing to go back where it belonged and let her live a normal life. She decided that since she couldn’t do anything about who she was she should just move to the next step. 

Step two: Make a list of flaws and problems. Flaws? Her Puddin’ didn’t have flaws unless being the smartest, handsomest, cleverest person in the world could be considered a flaw. But problems? They had so many problems. Her only real friend hated him, her acquaintances hated him; if she was honest everyone hated him except her. It took a lot of patience and strength of conviction to survive all the negative things people said to her about Mr. J. She could forebear it all because she knew that they were just all too dumb to really understand her Puddin’. Well, Red wasn’t dumb exactly but when it came to the Joker she just didn’t think straight. There were other problems of course. They had to deal with occasional separations when one or the other of them ended up in Arkham. Long distance relationships were never easy. Living in a hideout full of goons could put a strain on their relationship too but everyone had issues around work/life balance these days. She tried to think of anything else that was a real challenge to their love. She imagined the look Red would be giving her right now but she ignored it. If pain and violence were a problem for her she’d have no business being a villain much rather loving one. When she thought about it all none of it seemed insurmountable, so far this list didn’t seem to be doing much to help out her situation.

Step three: Make a point of noticing attractive things about other people. Harley read it over again and then started laughing hysterically. She laughed until tears were streaming down her face. The very idea that she could see someone else as attractive as her Puddin’! There was no one else like him in the whole world and no one else who could even begin to compare. She stopped her laughing and wiped her eyes. Taking a deep breath she realized the tightness in her chest was gone or it had eased enough that her need for air didn’t exhaust and pain her. That was the first time she’d laughed in two weeks and it felt great. Maybe this list wasn’t helping her in the way it had been designed to but it was helping all the same. Just one step left to try.

Step four: Give it time and move on. She blinked and looked away from her phone. Give it time and move on? If people could just move on wouldn’t they just do that? Why would they need stupid lists on the internet to help them if they could just help themselves? Move on! Oh someone was going to move on alright. Whoever wrote this stupid list was going to move on to the next life if Harley Quinn had anything to do with it. She scanned the page intently looking for the name of whoever had decided to write this useless piece of garbage but wisely no one had chosen to claim the work as their own. Accepting that she couldn’t kill the article’s author put a pout on her face. Still, being angry felt a lot better than being sad. She stared at the screen and was struck with sudden inspiration. The author of this article was trying to help people get over someone they love but trying to forget love, to “move on”, well it was the dumbest idea she’d ever heard. Love like what she and Mr. J had wasn’t something you moved on from. Her love for the Joker might kill her someday but there wasn’t a force on this earth that could kill the love itself. He was her Puddin’ for better or worse. Maybe instead of following this list’s advice she should do just the opposite and love him more. Maybe that was the key to being back in her Puddin’s arms.

So she’d given it plenty of time and she sure as hell wasn’t moving on. She could never find anything attractive about anyone who wasn’t Mr. J. Not really anyway. Instead of his flaws and problems she would think about all the wonderful things about being with her Puddin’. There might have been less good things about their relationship but those things were far more important. People thought her Puddin’ wasn’t capable of love but he was and he really did love her. And to be loved by someone like the Joker, well there wasn’t any way to understand what that felt like except maybe being on a roller coaster. The highs were so high and it felt so dangerous and truly frightening at times but she just wanted the ride to last forever. Maybe she was even a little addicted to the ups and downs of their love. The intensity of the painful moments making the good moments even sweeter. All that was left was to reverse step one, she needed to increase contact. Of course she’d always waited for him to tell her it was ok in the past because she was frightened of what would happen if she didn’t but there was another solution. She just needed to do something to make him want to ask her to come back. Something big, something he couldn’t ignore.

Now that she had a project she was finally able to leave Red’s guest room and get to work on winning her Puddin’ back. She didn’t tell Red that’s what she was working on and Poison Ivy was so happy to see her friend out of bed and plotting villainy again that she didn’t ask any questions, just helped Harley whenever she could. Ultimately Harley decided to do what worked best for her, stick with a simple plan. Mr. J liked to create elaborate works of genius but Harley was more practical than that. You got things done a lot more effectively if you just went in and did them rather than trying to make a statement every time. Soon enough everything was in place and ready for action. It really was quite simple. She had transformed two mannequins into exact replicas of the most well-known people in Gotham, Bats and Mr. J. A few staged photos sent into all of Gotham’s news channels would soon have the whole city talking about the current fight raging between its dark knight and the clown prince of crime. The only people who would know it was all fake were Batman, the Joker and her. Now if there was one thing Mr. J hated it was imitators, he wouldn’t be able to stay away from the reported location of the showdown. And if there was one thing Bats could be predicted to do it was swoop in and help out some poor schlub dressed like him and trying to take on the worst villain in history. And just like that the two would soon be fighting for real and there was nothing Mr. J liked better than a fight with B-Man. All Harley had to do was make sure he understood who had arranged this fun little excursion for him and he’d be begging her to come home that night.

Harley’s plan seemed to be coming along quite well. Within half an hour of sending out the photos there was a crowd of news vans and reporters surrounding the building trying to get the best angle on the fighting. Of course soon enough they would realize there was no fight unless her plan worked and Batman and the Joker showed up to make it real. With that thought she heard the sweetest sound in the world, Mr. J’s laugh behind her. She turned around to look at the love of her life and it was like looking at heaven. Was it possible he was even more handsome than she remembered? His smile seemed bigger, his laugh more melodic, and she could swear he was taller. She felt her cheeks get warm and started to swoon a little at the sight of him.

“Well Harls, I take it this little pantomime was your doing? Miss me so much you started dressing dolls like me to keep yourself from getting lonely?” Mr. J asked with a laughing tone and a cruel smile. She loved his cruel smile.

“Oh Puddin’!” She squealed. It was all she could do not to leap into his arms but she remembered that he hadn’t told her she was forgiven yet and she didn’t want to chance pushing him away now. She tried to calm herself before she spoke again.

“I was just trying to arrange a little fun. I haven’t gotten to see you fight B-man in so long, I had an irrepressible urge for it I guess you could say. You don’t mind me having a little fun, do you Puddin’?” She spoke to him carefully, respectfully but threw in just a dash of seduction. She knew two weeks without her would be affecting him at least a little in that way. Mr. J might not be someone whose mind was constantly occupied by carnal thoughts but he wasn’t immune to them either, at least not when it came to his Harley Quinn. The wolfish grin he gave her now was all the proof of that she needed.

“Wanted to see Daddy swat down the big bat, did you Cupcake?” His tone was self-assured and seductive. And as soon as he called her Cupcake she knew everything was forgiven and she’d be spending tonight back at the hideout with her Puddin’.

“Oh yes, Daddy!” And with that she couldn’t hold back anymore. With a high pitched squeak she threw herself into his arms and was happy to find herself wrapped tightly against his tall thin form. Without either of them hesitating for even a moment their lips were pressed together in a hungry kiss. As the kiss continued she wrapped her legs around his narrow waist and soon found her back pressed up against the wall as their impromptu make out session started getting more intense. She wasn’t surprised when she heard Batman’s low voice coming from behind Mr. J, she had sort of invited him after all, but she was still disappointed that the kissing was going to end for the moment.

“Looking for a ride back to Arkham, clowns?” Harley rolled her eyes at that. At least Mr. J would have made a clever joke. B-man was so boring and she couldn’t think of anything worse to be.

Just as quickly as they had gotten wrapped up in each other, Mr. J left her and was immediately fighting with his adversary. Their fights were always unpredictable about who would win but the results were always one of two things: either Batman dropped them off at Arkham on his way to whatever other fun he planned to break up for the night or Mr. J got the upper hand but didn’t press his advantage, choosing to live to fight another day every time. If she didn’t know better she’d say her Puddin’ didn’t really want to kill B-man. Regardless, there was no way she was going to Arkham today, she had plans of a much more romantic nature. Apparently the Joker agreed with her because tonight he was really keeping Bats on his toes and it looked like soon he’d be in a position to flee or maybe he’d finally actually kill the big flying rodent. Just in case things turned around Harley had brought a little insurance plan along. Something she’d borrowed from Red. She’d only planned to use it if the fight turned against the Joker but now she was just bored and horny and ready to go back to the hideout. So as soon as the Joker delivered a punch that pushed Batman close enough to her she jumped onto his back and took his momentary surprise to shove a little wad of plant extract into his mouth that Red guaranteed would knock even the great Batman on his ass instantly. Well for five minutes anyway. It was effective but short lived. Harley clung on with her hand over his mouth to keep him from spitting it out but she needn’t have bothered, the big guy was crumpling into a heap within seconds.

“Harley, what did you do?” Mr. J growled at her. She gave him an innocent look.

“Just a little something Red is experimenting with. It only lasts a couple of minutes. We could kill him?” At the cold look she got she quickly suggested something else. “Or we could go back home and make up for lost time.”

The Joker looked from her to Batman, his eyes shrewd and clearly considering his options. “Let’s go, Cupcake. You really need to show Daddy how sorry you are for whatever it was that I kicked you out for.”

She stopped herself before she reminded him of her trespass. And then a brief moment of anger flared up at the fact he couldn’t even remember why he’d turned her out of their home and made her suffer so much pain for the last two weeks. Finally she sighed and decided to just accept that she’d gotten what she wanted and she should just put the past behind her. Their roller coaster of love was on its way back up for another exhilarating and fast paced ride around the tracks and there was no room on this thrill ride for a long memory.


End file.
